Tag Archives: Facebook

Fake Politics: Eat Like a Republican/Democrat

We are deep into election season, y’all. If you didn’t know that, you must be living on a remote island without TV, news, TV news, internet news, Facebook, Twitter, computers or phones.

It sounds wonderful there. May I join you, please?

url

via oceans5.org

I don’t really care much who you’re for–the guy with the bad hair or the lady with the less bad hair. But, what I DO want to know is which party best aligns with your culinary wants and needs.

I’ll explain.

TIME Magazine recently partnered with GrubHub to put together a quiz that measured whether you eat like a Republican or a Democrat.

How did they do that? Well, I’m no C.J. Cregg so I’m not going to explain it well. (And let’s face it, you’re no Josh Lyman. Don’t flatter yourself.) But here goes.

TIME studied the GrubHub ordering patterns of 200 congressional districts and they found that 75% of the most popular dishes “had significant correlations to the partisanship of those districts.”

Are you a die-hard Democrat, but you secretly eat like a Fox News correspondent? Don’t tell Hillary you’re not with her. Or are you a born-and-bred Republican, but you eat like the Bill Clinton on vacation at Burning Man? You’re fired.

I think there’s one thing that we can all agree on. We’re all hungry.

Take the quiz. See how you score.

And please remember to vote this November. I know who’s getting my vote.

960

via avclub

What’s next?

If you’re a fan of The West Wing like I am, be sure to check out The West Wing Weekly. It’s a new podcast from Joshua Malina and Hrishikesh Hirway. Malina starred on the 4th season of the show (and jokes that he ruined it…) and Hrishi is a superfan of the show in addition to being a musician/composer. They analyze the show episode-by-episode and invite writers, actors, and designers on to talk about their experiences working on the show. It’s a great peek behind the curtain. Plus, from time-to-time they have real-life politicians on to talk about the reality of the politics of the show. If you’ve ever WANTED to watch The West Wing or you want a viewing companion, here ya go.

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Boredom: Pistachio Coconut Cream Pie!

What do you do when you’re bored?

Here’s what I do:

  • Instagram until I get to the last Instagram post I remember
  • Facebook until I get to the last Facebook post I remember OR until I get to the kind of posts that are like these that I find so annoying:
    • Dan, babe, you are the most perfect, special, amazing human being and I can’t imagine my life without you. I would literally die if I didn’t wake up inside your loving arms every day, babe. Our wedding day was the best day of my life and every other day has been the best day too and every future day is the best day of my future life. I eat drink and breathe you babe. XOXOXOXOXOXOX Amy
      • Geez, Amy. There are a lot of feelings and thoughts and emotions there (and very few commas). Maybe put some of those those in a card to Dan. He’d probably appreciate it in a way that I would not.
  • Clean
    • JK I NEVER DO THAT WHEN I’M BORED
  • Netflix
  • Make a pie

I didn’t have much to do one recent Saturday and I had all my chores done (I am very cool!). I had nowhere to be, a full fridge and a full pantry. Huh. Ok. WEIRD.

The next day was Easter. I was planning a meal at home by myself (again, I am VERY cool). I had nothing planned for dessert. It seemed perfectly appropriate to make a whole pie for one person.

For me, the most challenging and most rewarding baking projects have been pies. I am always proud of what I accomplished. But, I always can find something I would have done differently or could have done better. There’s always room to grow.

If you’re moderately experienced baker and you want to take your pie baking to the next level, please do yourself a favor and get the Four & Twenty Blackbirds cookbook. Their innovative twists on classic flavors satisfy me on a deep, soulful level.

On that lazy Saturday, where time and space no longer mattered, I decided on the Pistachio Coconut Cream Pie. Why that pie? Well, I love coconut cream pie. Plus, I had most of the ingredients for the pistachio coconut cream pie at home. Sometimes, the decisions are made for you.

This pie is worth the effort that is required to make it. Is it horribly, terribly difficult to make? No, not exactly. But it’s also not easy; it’s labor intensive. You will need a couple of hours. You will need a bit of patience and a bit of chutzpah. I was particularly nervous when I was making my custard, as the only other time I made one I scrambled the eggs when I added the hot milk. Not remotely tasty.

This pie, however, turned out to be quite delicious.

FullSizeRender (4)

The pistachio adds an subtle earthiness, and since I used the salted pistachios I had on hand, a pleasant saltiness to balance the sweetness of the cream and sugar in the pie. The area that I’m going to try to work to improve next time is the crust. It was quite loose and crumbly, I think largely due to the fact that my shredded coconut was very dry. But the flavor was spot on. And bonus, it’s gluten-free and no-bake. So lah di dah!

The moral of this story is when you get a little bored, delicious things can happen. Put your phone down and make a pie.

Dan and Amy will probably thank you. Publicly. In an Facebook post.

Four & Twenty Blackbirds pie is available at their Pie Shop in Brooklyn and on countless other menus in New York.

PIE SHOP
439 3rd Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11215
Phone (718) 499 2917
MONDAY – FRIDAY 8am – 8pm
SATURDAY 9am – 8pm, SUNDAY 10am – 7pm

Buy their book here.

Pistachio Coconut Cream Pie from The Four & Twenty Blackbirds Pie Book

Crust:

Makes one 9-inch pie crust

  • ½ cup plus 1 tablespoon shelled pistachios, raw and unsalted
  • ½ cup plus 1 tablespoon unsweetened shredded coconut
  • 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
  • ¼ kosher salt

In a dry medium-size skillet, toast the pistachios over a medium heat until fragrant, 7 to 9 minutes; shake the pan or stir frequently to prevent burning. Pour into a shallow dish and allow to cool about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, toast the coconut in the same skillet over medium-low heat 2 to 3 minutes or until lightly golden and fragrant. When finished, immediately add to the pistachios.

Once cool, pour the toasted pistachios and coconut plus the sugar and salt into the bowl of a food processor fitted with the blade attachment. Process until the pistachios are finely chopped and the mixture looks homogenous, scraping down if necessary; the crumbs will stick together slightly when ready.

Pour the crumbs into an ungreased, preferably metal 9-inch pie pan. Spread evenly over the bottom; then create a circle about 1 inch in to separate the crumbs for the sides from the crumbs for the bottom. Start pressing the outer ring of crumbs evenly up the sides and into the corner (where the side meets the bottom) of the pan. Press the remaining crumbs evenly over the bottoms to meet the sides; use a flat-bottomed cup to smooth out bumps. Freeze until solid at least 10 minutes, before filling.

Filling:

  • 2/3 cup shelled pistachios, raw and unsalted
  • 2 ½ cups whole milk
  • 5 large egg yolks, whisked
  • 6 tablespoons cornstarch
  • ¾ cup granulated sugar
  • ½ teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 ¼ cups coconut milk | I used full fat. Because fat is flavor.
  • 2- to 3-inch strip lime zest
  • 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1 tablespoon confectioner’s sugar

Chop the pistachios in a food processor fitted with a blade attachment until chopped into medium to find pieces. Add the chopped nuts to a heavy-bottomed saucepan along with the whole milk. Bring just to a boil over medium heat, remove the pan from the heat, and cover. Set aside to steep for 15 to 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, have the whisked egg yolks ready in a large bowl. In a large heavy-bottomed saucepan, whisk together the cornstarch, granulated sugar, and salt. Whisk in the coconut milk and add the strip of lime zest. Strain the pistachios from the milk, then add the milk to the saucepan and whisk until combined. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until bubbling and thick, about 5 minutes. Once the mixture boils, cook for about 2 minutes longer. Remove from the heat.

Slowly and carefully stream one-third of the hot milk mixture into the yolks, whisking constantly to prevent the yolks from cooking. Stream in the remaining hot milk, and then return the mixture to the saucepan.

Have a large bowl ready for cooling and a fine-mesh sieve to strain the mixture through. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture just returns to a boil, 1 to 2 minutes. Strain through the sieve, using a spatula to push the mixture through and to scrape the filling clinging to the bottom of the sieve. Allow to cool for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent a skin from forming.

Sir in the butter 1 tablespoon at a time, fully incorporating each addition before adding the next. Stir in the lime juice. Pour into the prepared crust and press a piece of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the filling. Refrigerate until firm, about 4 hours.

In the chilled bowl of an electric mixer, beat the cream on medium speed until soft peaks form. Add the confectioners’ sugar and continue beating on medium-low speed just until the cream holds stiff peaks. Remove the plastic wrap from the surface of the filling and spread the cream over the pie. Slice and serve.

The pie will keep refrigerated for 2 days.

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Point/Counterpoint: Cadbury Creme Eggs

And now, for a MyFakeFoodBlog classic: Point/Counterpoint.

Point: I love the Internet.

It brings me so much joy. Because my life would’ve been incomplete without Thug Life Jeremy Renner.

Counterpoint: I hate the Internet.

I hate seeing the weird links that distant Facebook friends like. Or friends of friends. Some of them are weird. The links and the people. (Thanks, Madeline.)

The best/worst part of the Internet is its immediacy. It’s amazing to know what’s happening right this second around the world, particularly when it has to do with pandas/cats/baby pandas/baby cats. That’s my kind of international news.

Early this week, the Internet blew up because of some changes to Cadbury Creme Eggs. Basically, the price of cacao is going up so Cadbury has changed their chocolate recipe and is also including one less egg in their 6-pack. (That’s a 5-pack now people.) But, the price remains the same. It’s because I took two college level Econ classes that I explained that to you. (Note: I took the same class twice. I did not pass the first time.)

via MarketingMagazine

via MarketingMagazine

I first saw this on Grubstreet. And then my BFF Laura wrote an impassioned post on Facebook about it. Then I saw articles on Huff Po, CNN, The Guardian. Those last two are actual news sources. That cover actual news stories.

First of all, this only applies to the UK. So, all Americans who care, please unclench.

Also, and here’s my rull question.

Who.

Actually.

Really.

Truly.

Cares.

SERIOUSLY.

Besides Laura (who I love more than air) (seriously, she introduced me to my other BFF, Borthany Norvak) (who will forgive me for speaking my opinion) who actually cares.

Bethany & Borthany

Bethany & Borthany

 

Seriously. Who cares.

Cadbury Creme Eggs are the same as Peeps to me. Something you eat once a year and go “oh, yeah, I remember why I don’t eat these all year: because these are gross.”

Seriously. I am all for some novelty candy.

But let’s seriously take stock of this.

Candy corns?

Via wikipedia

via Wikipedia

Kinda gross. That dude you’re ashamed you made out with.

Mellowcreme pumpkin candy?

Via thecandylandstore

via thecandylandstore

The hotter version of candy corns. So, hot and gross. That dude you were initially proud you made out with (Good pull!) but then you he gave you a cold sore.

Marshmallow Peeps?

Via sodahead

via sodahead

That dude you think you should make out with, so you try it every year, and every year you go, “NOPE. WHY DIDN’T I REMEMBER THIS FROM LAST YEAR.”

Candy Hearts?

Via thesinglepartyofone

via thesinglepartyofone

That dude who tries to make out with you and you immediately have to make out with someone else to cleanse your palette.

Jellybeans?

via Candywarehouse. Obviously.

via Candywarehouse. Obviously.

via Wikipedia

via Wikipedia

A set of twins. One is hot (Jelly Belly) and one is not (Brach’s). You make out with the hot one sober and the ugly one drunk.

Brach’s Christmas Tree Nougat?

via CandyWarehouse (obviously again)

via CandyWarehouse (obviously again)

A really good looking guy who doesn’t know he’s good looking. You made out with him once, but you don’t know his name and you can’t find him again. (Obviously I love this candy. I have unrequited love for this candy.)

How does this relate to Cadbury Creme Eggs? Only tangentially. Which goes back to my original point:

I love the internet.

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Summer Salad That Isn’t Pizza: Vietnamese Rice Noodle Salad

I’ve been on a real salad kick lately. Mostly because I’d been working on my #pizzadiet (that’s pizza all day errday forever). I realized that while delicious, it’s not actually really that good for you. WHO KNEW?

I made one of my go-to favorites, the Zesty Taco Salad, earlier in the week.  But then I saw my buddies at Food52 post this link to the Vietnamese Rice Noodle Salad and I knew I had to make it.

Just to be clear, I’m not actually buddies with the people at Food52. But, I pretend we’re friends since I follow them on Instagram and Facebook and love almost everything they do. Frankly, I’m better friends with them than some people I’m actually friends with on FB.

Anywho. This salad was so enticing that my friend Emily and I ran into each other at the store shopping for supplies (“I’m looking for napa cabbage.” “I’M looking for napa cabbage.” “Wait, what are you making…?”) After going to two stores to find the previously aforementioned napa cabbage, we both finally were able to make dinner. And to quote Emily again, it was pretty damn delicious.

If you have everything on hand, this is not only pretty damn delicious, but it’s a quick meal to assemble. It’s a meal that can be put together in the time it takes to boil water. Author’s note: this will happen much more quickly if you do not watch the pot.

This salad tastes like summer. It’s fresh and crisp, and with the dressing, sweet and spicy. There’s a ton of textures at play here, too. Rice noodles with just a bit of bite, crunchy cucumbers and cabbage, and plump shrimps.

In the nude

In the nude

Is it as good as pizza?

….no, cause what is. (RIP #pizzadiet)

But, it’s a pretty damn delicious meal.

Vietnamese Rice Noodle Salad from Food52 Serves 2 to 3

The dressing

  • tablespoons fish sauce
  • tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice
  • 2 to 3 tablespoons light brown sugar
  • 6 to 8 tablespoons water, to taste
  • 1medium clove garlic, minced
  • fresh Thai (or bird’s eye) chile, minced | I couldn’t find one, so I used a serrano chile. Worked well! 
The salad

  • ounces thin rice noodles (roughly the width of linguine)
  • 3 or 4 napa cabbage leaves, thinly sliced crosswise
  • medium carrot, shredded or cut into matchsticks
  • ½ cucumber, halved, seeded, and thinly sliced
  • handful chopped fresh herbs, preferably a combination of basil, cilantro, and mint
  • ounces cooked meat or shrimp, cut or torn into bite-sized pieces
  • ½ cup salted peanuts, coarsely chopped

To prepare the dressing, combine the fish sauce, lime juice, 2 tablespoons of the brown sugar, 6 tablespoons of the water, the garlic, and the chile. Whisk well. Taste: if it’s too pungent, add more water, 1 tablespoon at a time. If you’d like more sweetness, add more brown sugar, 1/2 tablespoon at a time. Remember that you’re going to be putting this dressing on unsalted vegetables and noodles: you want the dressing to have a lot of flavor, but it shouldn’t knock you over. Pour into a serving bowl. (Covered and chilled, the dressing will keep for 3 days to a week.)

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the rice noodles, and cook for 4 to 5 minutes, until tender but not mushy. Immediately drain the noodles into a colander, and rinse them well with cold water. Lay out a clean kitchen towel on the countertop, shake the colander to drain away excess water, and then spread the cooked noodles on the towel to drain further.
Divide the noodles between two or three good-sized bowls, depending on the number of diners, and top with the vegetables, herbs, and meat. Scatter the peanuts on top. Allow each person to spoon on dressing to taste. Toss well, and eat. (Alternatively, you can present this salad family-style: Toss the vegetables, herbs, and noodles in a mixing bowl and then mound them on a serving platter. Arrange the meat over the noodles, and top with peanuts. Each diner can scoop their own portion from the platter and dress it as they see fit.)
Read to Go [sic]

Read to Go [sic]

 

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Facebook Pie: Atlantic Beach Pie

If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it?

If I’m being completely honest, I’d at least consider jumping off the bridge. Maybe there’s a big trampoline beneath the bridge. Or maybe there’s a beautiful lake filled with mermen. Sure, you MIGHT plummet to your death, but what if you were plummeting whilst being surrounded by the gorgeous vistas of the PCH?

The point is, just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean it’s always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a bad thing (e.g., reading Twilight, watching Twilight, admitting you’ve read/watched Twilight). But it really isn’t always.

A few weeks ago, my friend Shaun told me about this pie she’d heard about on NPR called the Atlantic Beach Pie. It was a pie that was made at seafood restaurants in North Carolina back in the day. The theory was if you ate seafood, you really shouldn’t eat dessert because it would make you deathly ill. All desserts, except for this one.

Then I saw the recipe posted on Food52. I posted it to Shaun’s Facebook page and I started noticing it EVERYWHERE. Everyone was making it. Anna made it (and then made it again), then Alison made it, and so on and so forth. My friend Seton’s mom even called her, saying she was going to make ‘the Facebook pie.’ We were all jumping off the proverbial bridge together. And landing in a creamy, delicious pool of citrusy custard and whipped cream.

You want to believe that this pie is going to be weird. It has a saltine cracker crust. But one of my favorite treats is saltine toffee, which is simple, rich and salty-sweet goodness. (Note to self: make saltine toffee soon.)

Start with softened butter, smooshed up saltines and sugar and knead it all together into a ‘dough.’ I couldn’t get the saltine crumbs to come together. So I added a little more butter. Than a little more butter. Than it was almost another whole stick of butter. OOPS, MADE IT MORE DELICIOUS.

After a brief rest in the fridge, you bake the crust off, whisk all the remaining ingredients together, pour and rebake.

Seriously, I think the hardest thing about this pie is waiting for it to be cold enough to eat.

Go ahead, make this pie. Everybody’s doing it.

Pre-Whipped Cream. Or, Pre-Perfection.

Pre-Whipped Cream. Or, Pre-Perfection.

Atlantic Beach Pie, via Food52

For the crust:

  • 1 ½ sleeves of saltine crackers (about 6 ounces or 60 crackers)
  • ½ cup softened unsalted butter
  • tablespoons sugar
For the filling:

  • One 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
  • egg yolks
  • ½ cup lemon or lime juice or a mix of the two
  • Fresh whipped cream, for garnish
  • Coarse sea salt, for garnish

Preheat oven to 350° F.

Crush the crackers finely, but not to dust. You can use a food processor or your hands. (Just use your hands) Add the sugar, then knead in the butter until the crumbs hold together like dough. Press into an 8-inch pie pan. Chill for 15 minutes, then bake for 18 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

While the crust is cooling (it doesn’t need to be cold), beat the egg yolks into the milk, then beat in the citrus juice. It is important to completely combine these ingredients. Pour into the shell and bake for 16 minutes until the filling has set. The pie needs to be completely cold to be sliced. Serve with fresh whipped cream and a sprinkling of sea salt.

Second piece. I ain't ashamed.

Second piece. I ain’t ashamed.

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