Time | my fake food blog

Fake Politics: Eat Like a Republican/Democrat

We are deep into election season, y’all. If you didn’t know that, you must be living on a remote island without TV, news, TV news, internet news, Facebook, Twitter, computers or phones.

It sounds wonderful there. May I join you, please?

via oceans5.org

I don’t really care much who you’re for–the guy with the bad hair or the lady with the less bad hair. But, what I DO want to know is which party best aligns with your culinary wants and needs.

I’ll explain.

TIME Magazine recently partnered with GrubHub to put together a quiz that measured whether you eat like a Republican or a Democrat.

How did they do that? Well, I’m no C.J. Cregg so I’m not going to explain it well. (And let’s face it, you’re no Josh Lyman. Don’t flatter yourself.) But here goes.

TIME studied the GrubHub ordering patterns of 200 congressional districts and they found that 75% of the most popular dishes “had significant correlations to the partisanship of those districts.”

Are you a die-hard Democrat, but you secretly eat like a Fox News correspondent? Don’t tell Hillary you’re not with her. Or are you a born-and-bred Republican, but you eat like the Bill Clinton on vacation at Burning Man? You’re fired.

I think there’s one thing that we can all agree on. We’re all hungry.

Take the quiz. See how you score.

And please remember to vote this November. I know who’s getting my vote.

via avclub

What’s next?

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If you’re a fan of The West Wing like I am, be sure to check out The West Wing Weekly. It’s a new podcast from Joshua Malina and Hrishikesh Hirway. Malina starred on the 4th season of the show (and jokes that he ruined it…) and Hrishi is a superfan of the show in addition to being a musician/composer. They analyze the show episode-by-episode and invite writers, actors, and designers on to talk about their experiences working on the show. It’s a great peek behind the curtain. Plus, from time-to-time they have real-life politicians on to talk about the reality of the politics of the show. If you’ve ever WANTED to watch The West Wing or you want a viewing companion, here ya go.

Jam Thumbprint Cookies, or as we like to call them, “Jam Thumpers”

It’s Christmastime, which is my favorite time of the year: the time when it is socially acceptable to eat cookies for breakfast.

Now, you really could eat cookies for breakfast every day and be alright in my book. Hell, I’ll vote for you for president. But, at Christmastime, it’s encouraged. With a cup of coffee and the tree on, maybe a little Vince Guaraldi Trio on in the background, eet’s nice. (If you celebrate Hannukahtime or Noneoftheabovetime, this also applies. Just adjust for the appropriate religious or non-religious symbols.)

Our favorite cookies aren’t really Christmas cookies, but they are delicious. And I just realized I’ve been making them over 10 years, which is weird.

Sidenote. It’s strange to make realizations relative to time. I’ve been out of college for 7 years. I’ve been making these cookies for 10 years. I’ve been I’ve been driving for 13 years. I’ve been bad at driving for 13 years.

Anyways. These cookies are made of buttery shortbread, rolled in coconut with a little bit of sweet jam on top. They’re Ina Garten’s Jam Thumbprints, so named because you make a thumbprint in the cookie to put the jam inside. However, for some reason, my mom forgot the name one year and started calling them “Jam Thumpers,” which I really like better.

And what’s more breakfast-y than jam?

…bacon.

Well, this post is ruined.

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Ina Garten’s Jam Thumbprint Cookies, slightly adapted from Barefoot Contessa Family Style and foodnetwork.com

Ingredients

3 sticks unsalted butter at room temperature
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3 ½ cups all-purpose flour
¼ teaspoon kosher salt
1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water for egg wash
7 ounces sweetened flaked coconut | I used a bit more, probably 10 ounces
Raspberry and/or apricot jam | I used raspberry and blueberry. Go with your preferences, folks.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

In an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together the butter and sugar until they are just combined and then add the vanilla. Separately, sift together the flour and salt. With the mixer on low speed, add the flour mixture to the creamed butter and sugar. Mix until the dough starts to come together. If dough is still a bit crumbly, add 1-2 tablespoons of cold water so that it comes together. (I added 2.)

Dump on a floured board and roll together into a flat disk. Wrap in plastic and chill for 30 minutes.

Roll the dough into 1 1/4-inch balls, about the size of a golf ball. (If you have a scale they should each weigh 1 ounce.) Dip each ball into the egg wash and then roll it in coconut. Place the balls on an ungreased cookie sheet and press a light indentation into the top of each with your finger.

SEE. I told you.

Drop 1/4 teaspoon of jam into each indentation. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the coconut is a golden brown. Cool and serve.

Jam Thumbprints, Jam Thumpers. Potato, Pa-tah-to.

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Fake Politics: Eat Like a Republican/Democrat

Jam Thumbprint Cookies, or as we like to call them, “Jam Thumpers”