Tag Archives: Jokes

Sunday Supper: The Dog and Pig Show

I love the films of Edgar Wright.

Not exactly food blog related, but stick with me.

Hey! That shot has ketchup in it!

I love the films of Edgar Wright. In Hot Fuzz, his homage to the tropes of cop movies, there is this recurring joke that keeps happening. (You know….cause it’s recurring.) This bumbling reporter is interviewing a bumbling cop on the scene of a grizzly murder and instead of asking him anything related to the murder, he asks, “What is your perfect Sunday?”

It’s small, silly moment, but it made me think about my perfect Sunday.

Sundays can be tough. I’m prone to the Sunday blues. It’s hard to break up with the weekend and get back on the weekly grind.

But my perfect Sunday looks a lot like last Sunday did. Brunch, a little cleaning (it must be done), a nap (again, it must be done), an Edgar Wright movie, and a bitchin’ dinner.

I’m not sure how I found The Dog and Pig Show. Probably from some shameless Instagram stalking. Their carry-out shop in Church Hill is on point. It is beautifully designed with a gorgeous menu, drawing equally from Southern and Asian influences. Like shrimp and grits with bacon butter, kimchi and roe. Or pimento grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato jam, bacon and avocado. And the baked goods. Heavenly.

When I found out they did monthly Sunday Suppers, I had to go. So I could eat all the things and chase the blues away.

The dinner was held at the owner’s home, which was absolutely lovely. As was the company. I always get nervous in a situation where I’m meeting a group of strangers and I’m going to have to sit with them for a whole evening. What if we have nothing to talk about? What if we literally cannot find anything in common to discuss? Are we just going to sit and stare at each other and say, “So……………………………………………………………….hot out there.”

But, it’s never the case. This was a really diverse, fun group of people and we all had something pretty fundamental in common: a love of food. And thankfully, there was plenty of that to go around.

The Sunday Suppers are booked through the end of the summer. But let’s face it, maybe you have the Monday Malaise. Or the Tuesday Troubles. Or the Wednesday Worries. Or the Thursday Thadness. Or the Friday Fears. Or the Saturday Sadness.

YES. OK. CALM DOWN. I was reaching a bit on Thursday.

Get yourself to The Dog and Pig Show any day of the week. It will cure what ails you.

Basil Gimlet. Plus, my red Toms!

Basil Gimlet. Plus, my red Toms!

Roast Duck and Scallop spring roll with spicy pickled cucumbers. I did not have the scallop because I am allergic, but I'm sure it would've been great.

Roast Duck spring roll with spicy pickled cucumbers. Non-allergy havers had a version with roast duck and scallops. 

Build Your Own Ramen. Sweet and Spicy and just lovely.

Build Your Own Ramen. Sweet and Spicy and just lovely.

Bruleed peach with white chocolate wasabi cream and molasses crumble

Bruleed peach with white chocolate wasabi cream -and molasses crumble. The textures were INSANE.

The Dog and Pig Show is at 314 N. 25th Street in Richmond, VA. Hours are Tuesday – Friday 11a-7p and Saturday 9a-3p.

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Brinner and Jokes: Baked Eggs with Spinach and Leeks

A joke for you, dear readers.

Let me set the scene: I’m talking to MyFakeFoodDad on the telephone. I’m telling him about what I ate for dinner.

Me: I made baked eggs with spinach and leeks for dinner. You just cook the spinach and leeks down and then crack some eggs and bake them in the oven. Breakfast for dinner.

Dad: Did you use a colander?

(long pause)

Me: …No….why?

Dad: Because it leaks.

Ba dum bum cha.

My reaction was a lot of laughter and I said, “DAMN IT, how did I not see that coming?!?!?”

I like jokes.

Last night, I made some baked eggs from Tasting Table. I’ve been following them on Instagram for a minute. But I didn’t know anything about them. It was difficult to find their About section on the website, but their brand manifesto is a very lovely piece about who they are.

“Tasting Table is a website and newsletter for culinary enthusiasts. We eat high and low to bring you discerning dining advice, recipes you can trust and news you can use from the world of food and drink. We’re an opinionated gang of always curious, anchovy-loving, order-one-of-everything-for-the-table epicurean obsessives.”

As a girl who bought anchovy filets and a tube of anchovy paste with no immediate plans to use them, I relate and appreciate.

…Maybe I’ve overdone it on the anchovy.

I started browsing through their catalogue of rather drool-worthy recipes. I settled on baked eggs with spinach and leaks leeks because it seemed like an easy weeknight meal.

And guess what? It was. Easy. Full of bright flavor, full of veggies. The only thing that was very strange is that my eggs did not bake at all after either 10 or 12 minutes in the oven, so I broiled them for 2-3 minutes. Just long enough for the whites to get opaque but keep that beautiful runny yolk.

What can I said. I like yolks.

Oh dang.

Oh dang.

Baked Eggs with Spinach and Leeks from Tasting Table

  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 medium leek (white and light green parts only), chopped
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • 8 cups baby spinach
  • Kosher salt, to taste
  • 4 large eggs
  • ¼ cup heavy cream
  • ½ teaspoon finely chopped thyme
  • ½ teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
  • ¼ teaspoon Aleppo pepper or crushed red pepper flakes

Preheat the oven to 350°.

In a large skillet over medium heat, melt the butter with the olive oil. Add the leeks and cook, stirring occasionally, until they are soft and tender but not browned, 6 to 8 minutes. Add the garlic and spinach, season with salt, and cook until the spinach has wilted, 2 to 3 minutes.

Set 2 small ovenproof dishes onto a baking sheet. Divide the spinach-leek mixture equally between the dishes. Make 2 indentations in each dish, leaving about a 1-inch gap in between. Carefully crack each egg into an indentation. Pour 2 tablespoons of cream into each dish and season with salt.

Place the baking sheet into the oven and bake until the whites are just set but the yolks are still runny, 10 to 12 minutes. | I broiled the eggs under high for 2-3 minutes to the same degree of doneness. Watch them closely, though. They go over quickly.

Top the baked eggs with the thyme, lemon zest and Aleppo pepper, and serve.

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Take Your Children To Work Day: Chicken Tinga Tacos

Today is Taco Take Your Children To Work Day. So it seems only appropriate to have a post about MyFakeFoodDad, Dave.

Few of you have had the privilege of meeting my dad, but to know Dave is to love Dave.

Do you doubt? Let me explain. Meet Dave.

He doesn’t look like he’s having fun, but he is.

He worked on the railroad for his whole career. He can identify the meaning of a train whistle just by its sound. Now that he’s retired, he’s building a model railroad loosely based on the railroad where he worked when he met my mom. Pretty romantical, if you ask me. Also, nerdy. Old white man hobbies, amiright? (Don’t think he’s not reading this. I would say and have said this to his face. Love you, Pops!)

Dave loves Magnum P.I. and The Rockford Files and has instilled in me a healthy love and respect for both. We watch The West Wing every Thanksgiving, Die Hard every Christmas, and Nacho Libre every Easter. For that is how we do.

Dave will do most anything for a joke (sound familiar?), but he’s also really very thoughtful. He’s a long time reader of the Wall Street Journal and always keeps an eye out for articles that would interest me (and my friends). Theatre! Fashion! Production! Television! Recipes! So many recipes! All of the recipes!

A recent article he shared is about the culture of tacos in America. I love that sentence so much that I’m going to write it again. A recent article he shared is about the culture of tacos in America. The summary is that we’re starting to see a trend back toward the traditional roots of the taco and away from the culture of Anything Goes tacos. No, I don’t mean Cole Porter tacos. (That was for all you musical theatre nerds). What I mean is a taco where anything goes, like Doritos Locos tacos, Korean Barbecue tacos, or Tex Mex tacos. These things may be delicious, but they are not authentically Mexican in either flavor profile or ingredients.

The article included a recipe for Chicken Tinga Tacos from Bajo Sexto Taco in Nashville. Run, don’t walk, to make these for Cinco de Mayo. Or any day de Mayo. Or venticuatro de abril. (That’s tomorrow, people.)

FullSizeRender

They are deeply soul satisfying. The sauce is spicy with a sharp bite from the vinegar, which cools off instantly from the creamy avocado. I paired it with a grilled Mexican corn salad and some chips and guac. Because duh.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that. Tacos are the best. My dad is the best.

I just can’t decide which I love more.

Chicken Tinga Tacos from Bajo Sexto Taco via wsj.com

  • 2½ pounds boneless chicken thighs
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 white onion, thinly sliced
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 teaspoons water
  • ½ (7-ounce) can chipotle chilies in adobo sauce
  • 5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
  • ¼ cup distilled white vinegar
  • ¼ cup canola oil
  • 12 fresh corn tortillas, warmed
  • 1 avocado, sliced

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Roast chicken until mostly cooked but still pink and juicy, 25-30 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool slightly. Once cool enough to handle, shred meat coarsely.

Meanwhile, caramelize onions: Heat olive oil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Sauté onions, tossing to coat with oil, until softened, 10 minutes. Add a pinch of salt and 2 teaspoons water, then reduce heat to low, and cook, stirring frequently, until tender and deep golden, 20-30 minutes more. If pan becomes dry, add water, 1 teaspoon at a time, to prevent burning.

Make sauce: In a blender, process caramelized onions, chilies with sauce, garlic, vinegar and a pinch each of salt and pepper until smooth.

Heat canola oil in a large skillet. Once shimmering, add sauce and cook until rust-brown and thickened, 3-4 minutes. Add chicken, stir to coat, and cook until no longer pink, 3-4 minutes more. Season with salt and pepper. Serve chicken on tortillas with a slice of avocado.

Mexican Corn Salad from Bon Appetit

  • 4 ears of corn, husked
  • 3 tablespoons mayonnaise
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
  • 1/8 teaspoon paprika
  • 1/8 teaspoon of cayenne pepper (optional)
  • 2 ounce Cotija cheese or Parmesan, crumbled (about 1/2 cup), plus more for serving
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro plus more for serving
  • Kosher salt, freshly ground pepper

Prepare grill for medium heat. Grill corn, turning occasionally, until tender and charred, 8–10 minutes; let cool slightly. Cut kernels from cobs and transfer to a medium bowl.

Whisk mayonnaise, lime juice, paprika, cayenne, if using, 2 oz. Cotija cheese, and 2 tablespoons cilantro in a large bowl; season with salt and pepper. Add corn and toss to combine. Top with more cheese and cilantro.

DO AHEAD: Dressing can be made 2 days ahead. Cover and chill. Corn can be grilled and cut from cobs 1 hour ahead. Store airtight at room temperature.

Guacamole from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook via FoodNetwork.com

  • 4 ripe Haas avocados
  • 3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (1 lemon)
  • 8 dashes hot pepper sauce
  • 1/2 cup small-diced red onion (1 small onion)
  • 1 large garlic clove, minced
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 medium tomato, seeded, and small-diced

Cut the avocados in 1/2, remove the pits, and scoop the flesh out of their shells into a large bowl. Immediately add the lemon juice, hot pepper sauce, onion, garlic, salt, and pepper and toss well. Using a sharp knife, slice through the avocados in the bowl until they are finely diced. Add the tomatoes. Mix well and taste for salt and pepper.

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My Writing Process: A Thesis on Blogs & Pantlessness

So, quick update on me and my fanciness: I was invited to be a part of a Blog Tour.

YEAH. I KNOW. I AM A BIG DEAL.

My amazing friend Anna of Curiouser & Curiouser invited me. Those of you who don’t read Anna’s blog should leave this blog and start reading hers.

WAIT!!!!

AFTER you’ve read this post, go read her blog. She is incredibly smart and fun and talks about just about everything. She is a one of my best friends and reading her blog feels like talking to a bestie, doing something we call lilypadding: jumping from topic to topic. (Posts on Advertising! Food! Cocktails! Nail polish! Clothes!) She’s the deal.

Now, onto the Blog Tour. A fellow blogger invites you to answer 4 questions about your blogular process and then you pass the baton on to another blogger.

Without further ado, I’m ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.

1. What are you working on?

Currently watching the first season of The Rockford Files because I’m sad about James Garner’s death. Also, doing the laundry and wearing no pants. Oh, and waiting on the Chinese food to come because I didn’t feel like cooking.

In reality, I’m a producer at an advertising agency and I write my blog as a creative outlet. In college, I was a theatre major and loved working on/being in plays. I did one show after I graduated, but found it was too tough to commit to the production schedule with the reality of #agencylife. But I still needed creativity in my life. I began to cook more and thought, hey, maybe I could turn this into a blog. So about a year ago, I did. And it’s been WILDLY successful* ever since.

*Wildly=mildly

2. How does your work differ from others of its genre?

Well, for better or worse, I’m not an avid blog reader. There are a few I follow on the reg, but otherwise it’s more like appointment reading. So I can’t say for certain that it’s different than others in the genre. I know there are sassy, f-word laden cooking blogs out there. (I’m looking at you, Thug Kitchen.)

But, what I can say for certain is this blog is written the way that I talk. The goofy asides, the lilypadding, the good and bad jokes, the healthy dose of self-deprecation: 100% Bethany. I’ve been told by more than one reader (and by reader, I mean real life existing friend) that they can hear me when they read the posts.

This blog is me, through and through.

3. Why do you write what you do?

I love food. I love to make people happy with food. And I love to make people laugh. This is all my favorite things in one.

4. How does your writing process work?

Well, the reality of the situation is I don’t write as much as I’d like. I’d like to post one to three times a week. But because of #agencylife, I find it’s very easy to get pulled away from your extracurriculars.

Mostly, I write when I’m inspired. (I’m like Oscar Bloody Wilde over here.) When I’ve eaten somewhere fantastic or made something terrific/terrible, the inspiration will strike me and I find that the words come out just the right way.

But when I’m not inspired, I feel like the words are like lumpy gravy: heavy and wrong. (Just stir it, Una!)

The exciting part is that there’s tons of inspiration out there.

So, that’s My Fake Food Blog. Thank you for coming and be sure to come again.

And in the meantime, visit my other friend Anna’s blog, Seasoned to Taste. Anna is a real life Barefoot Contessa. Everything she does is gorgeous and beautiful and seems effortless. From the food to the presentation to the way she writes about it all. Basically, I want to be her when I grow up.

She’ll impress and inspire you. Particularly if you are like me and haven’t showered today and only put pants on when the delivery guy arrived.

Happy Blog Tour, y’all.

 

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Tortilla Española: Simple, Spanish, Non-Slutty, Eggy Goodness

I can’t remember the first time I ate tortilla española, but I’m sure it was a life changing experience. So life changing, I cannot remember it.

Boom. Joke landed.

But seriously, folks. Tortilla española. Are you familiar with this Spanish delight? It is the simplest food. Egg. Potato. There’s some salt. A LOT of olive oil. Sometimes, people try to add some other shit in. But I’m a bit of a purist. We’ve got a good thing going, baby. Why fuck mess ruin fuck that up?

Tortilla bella.

Tortilla bella.

Now, you’re probably saying to yourself: Self, what is the difference between this dish, and say, a frittata.

Well, let’s start with the obvious: this one is better.

CALM DOWN. Frittatas are excellent. They’re unbelievably versatile. But, they’re incredibly difficult to spell. So, let’s simplify our lives.

The main difference, based on my one Google search my vast experience and knowledge is that a tortilla española must always have egg + potato as a base. A frittata is egg + anything. Frittatas? Kinda slutty. Butternut squash? Cool. Cheese? Whatever, I’ll try anything. Have some self-respect, frittatas.

Before you think that the tortilla española is boring for being basic, I will repeat the thing I keep repeating on this blog: I don’t know what I’m doing.

Ahem.

I will repeat another thing: the simplest food, when executed well, is the best food.

Believe you me. Though simple, it is not a dish for the timid. It requires some real machismo. Particularly when you get to that ever-dicey flip of the tortilla to cook the uncooked top.

Edges are done. Time to flip.

Edges are done. Time to flip.

Cover that shit up. Don't slide, just flip.

Cover that shit up. Don’t slide, just flip.

You did it. You are the champion!

You did it. You are the champion!

If done without the proper guts, you will wind up with egg and potato on your floor. But if done with just the right amount of courage (liquid or otherwise), you will come up with a dish that frankly, is just divine.

Your trip to Barcelona is just a bite away.

Tortilla Española from Bon Appetit May 2014 issue

  • 1 tablespoon plus 2 cups olive oil
  • 1 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced
  • Kosher salt
  • 2 medium waxy potatoes (about ¾ lb.), peeled, cut into ¾” pieces | Yukon Gold work well. Also, I think you could get a little thinner than this. My potatoes were downright chunky.
  • 8 large eggs

Heat 1 Tbsp. oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, season with salt, and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and dark brown, 35–40 minutes. Let cool slightly.

Meanwhile, heat potatoes and remaining 2 cups oil in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until oil around potatoes begins to bubble; reduce heat to medium and cook until potatoes are tender but have not taken on any color, 10–12 minutes. Drain potatoes, reserving oil. Season potatoes with salt and let cool slightly.

Combine eggs, onion, potatoes, and ¼ cup reserved potato cooking oil in a large bowl and gently beat with a fork.

Heat 3 Tbsp. reserved potato cooking oil in a 10” nonstick skillet over medium heat (reserve remaining oil for another use). Add egg mixture and cook, lifting at edge and tilting skillet to let uncooked egg run underneath, until bottom and edge of tortilla are set but center is still wet.

Set a large plate on top of skillet. Swiftly invert tortilla onto plate, then slide back into skillet, cooked side up. Cook until center is just set, about 2 minutes longer. Cut into wedges.

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curiouser & curiouser

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