Tag Archives: delicious

Cookie Snobbery: Momofuku Milkbar Cookie Mixes

My name is Bethany Novak. And I am a snob.

No, not a snob for everything. I mean, I love my butler just as much as I love my housemaids. But they are NOT to look at me in the eyes.

Truth is, I am a cookie snob. I typically find that packaged cookie mixes are sub-par.

I know, I know. Fire up the stakes. Let’s burn the witch.

I was walking through Target on Saturday morning, wearing my Toronto Blue Jays hat, and playing a game where I make up player names in case someone ever asked me who my favorite player is. My latest one is Mark St. Clair. He was a 3rd baseman in the 90s. Had a .400 batting average. He is not real.

Anyway, I was walking up and down the aisles of Target without a list, which is really dangerous. You can spend a lot of money in there. But when you wander unencumbered by a list, hidden in the shadows of your Blue Jays hat, you make phenomenal discoveries. I stumbled upon Momofuku Milk Bar cookie mixes.

If you do not know Momofuku Milk Bar, you do now. It’s the bakery part of the Momofuku family of restaurants, which is based in NYC, and it’s delightful. It’s incredibly whimsical and yet nostalgic, but also so simple. Flavors straight out of childhood (or straight out of a smoky hotbox).

I’m a bit too familiar with the Milk Bar website for my own good. I bought some cookies and truffles as Christmas gifts this year. But I didn’t realize they sold these mixes at Target.

I started with the Compost Cookie, one of their signature flavors. Like other Target versions of haute brands, this product is a bit cheaper than you would get it on the Milk Bar site ($6.99 vs. $16.00). But you actually get a bit more cookie for your buck. A package from Target makes a dozen. The box from the Milk Bar site makes 9. Curious.

But what is not compromised in the slightest is the flavor. I’ve had the cookies from the bakery and they taste identical to the ones that I made in my kitchen this weekend. So, I stand corrected. Some cookie mixes can live up to the real thing. Mea culpa.

Compost Cookie, a tableau

Compost Cookie, a tableau

My friend Natalie saw my Instagram post about the mixes on Saturday and requested “a review with photos and lots of adjectives.” So without further ado, this is for you, Natalie. And anyone else who managed to make it through all the “jokes” to the point of the post.

Ok, adjectives. Um. Well. Yikes. Ok. These cookies are good. Err, no. They’re delicious.

No, those are fluff words that mean squat. Has watching Alton Brown taught me nothing??!

These cookies are perplexing. You shouldn’t want to like them but you do. They shouldn’t make sense but they do. They’re sweet. They’re super sweet. Chocolate chips and butterscotch chips combined put it almost over the edge. But then you come across the potato chips and the pretzels, which give a much-needed punch of salt. It’s a well-balanced cookie.

Mix it up

Mix it up

It’s also a cookie that is has great texture, almost like a granola bar. The crunchy pretz, the flaky chip, the thick oats. For all the stuff that is in it, it is packed full of flavor, but finishes really light. The cookies bake up soft in the middle, but caramelized on the edges.

Christina Tosi, you sexy bitch.

I’m not mad at it. 

This would be the cookie your grandma would make if you got your grandma kinda high. And everybody would love them. Regular grandma. High grandma. Kids. Adults.

Even the recovering snobs among us.

Momofuku Mixes are available at many but not all Target stores and on Target.com.

Check out Momofuku Milk Bar for their whole line of products. They ship pies, cakes, cookies, trufflies, mixes, cookbooks, etc. Word on the street is that the truffles are the tits.

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Dangerous Chocolate: Firecracker Bar from Chuao Chocolatier

In the words of the illustrious, Katy Perry, “baby you’re a firework, Come on, show ’em what you’re worth/Make ’em go, “Aah, aah, aah’/As you shoot across the sky-y-y.”


(I swear this connects.)


I was at The Fresh Market a few days ago and I was hungry for chocolate. So I found myself a nice, sensible dark chocolate bar to take home.

Then when I was checking out, I saw these fancy bars of chocolate by the register. They were in a basket and they looked intriguing. And they were a dollar off, so I just went for it. Cause I’m an adult who gets to make her own decisions.

Firecracker Chocolate via chuaochocolatier.com

Firecracker Chocolate via chuaochocolatier.com

What I bought was a bar of chocolate from Chuao Chocolatier. I’d never heard of them before, but they’re a Venezuelan chocolatier based in southern California. (In fact, they’re the first Venezuelan chocolatier in the US. So, there you go.) Their primary mission is to create “creating unusual, unexpected and delicious flavors.”

I like all those things.

So, I tried my chocolate bar: the Firecracker bar.

Made with sea salt, chipotle and popping candy.

…that’s right. Popping candy.

It’s beautiful dark chocolate, rich and just a little bit sweet. The sea salt balances the sweetness in the chocolate. There’s a bit of a little smoky burn from the chipotle. And then…the popping candy hits.

And it’s weird.

It’s fucking REAL weird.

But it’s not unpleasant. In fact, I rather liked it. It gives another dimension to the chocolate. The popping doesn’t add anything from a flavor perspective, but it’s a great experience. Like the movie just went from 2D to 3D. Just a final note as the chocolate finishes on your palate, which lends a bit of danger to your chocolate eating.

Will it a) explode and kill me or b) give me a nice sensation on the tongue? Perhaps one that will make me go “aah, aah, aah”?

The one weird thing about it is that all the squares appear to have words written on them. One set of little bricks I got said “lick, smile, flutter.” I don’t like my chocolate telling me what to do, alright? I’m going to lick whatever I want whenever I want.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Anyway, this chocolate will explode in your mouth. So put it in your mouth today.

Wait, that wasn’t better.

Help me out, Katy Perry.

Yeahhhh. Not better. But thanks for trying.

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