I’m a breaktheist.
I don’t believe in any one breakfast. I do believe that breakfast exists, though. Perhaps I am breaknogstic.
Yeah…that doesn’t sound as good.
I’ve been on a real yogurt kick lately. This was after a serious granola kick, an avocado toast kick, and a granola bar kick. You’d think I was a Rockette. #dadjoke
But what yogurt to eat? There are so many choices. So, when I was at the Fresh Market last week and decided to buy 5 yogurt brands that I’ve never tried before and test them out for you.
(One time, I said something silly to a friend and then said, “you’re welcome.” And his reply was “I did not say thank you.” Couldn’t be mad at it.)
I tried some yogurt so you didn’t have to. Say your prayers, people, and forgive me. My stream of consciousness is below.
OhMyYog! with Gingered Pear
- Well, “OhMyYog!” is not a thing that people say.
- Rich and creamy. Has a unique flavor. Better than the basic fruit in your ushe yogurt.
- 3 layers? I really can’t tell. Just seems like two.
- This reminds me of the old fruit on the bottom Breyers yogurt but better.
- Try again? Yeah, I’d try it again. But I shan’t ever say “OhMyYog!”
So Delicious Dairy Free Yogurt in Vanilla
- Not at all appealing visually.
- “Try the gray stuff, it’s delicious. Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes!”
- Super sweet, with a weird after taste. Nope. Can’t eat this. Nope.
- Abandoned yogurt-ship after 4 bites. Went to a delicious, delicious Noosa I had in the fridge.
- Try again? Never say never. But never.
Blue Hill in Butternut Squash
- Saw this yogurt on Ana Gasteyer’s Instagram. We’re basically best friends.
- It smells sort of like Thanksgiving. I’m sort of excited. Sort of scared. I feel like Jessie Spano.
- It tastes good. A bit tart in the finish. It walks the line between sweet and savory.
- It’s kind of weird. I sort of gagged on the first spoonful, thus bringing to life the phrase “gag me with a spoon.” It’s so weird to have butternut squash in this super creamy, dairy vehicle. But, it kind of tasted good. I’m conflicted.
- Try again? Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe in a savory application.
Petite Creme in Cherry
- It’s low fat yogurt, made with nonfat milk. Is it going to be wimpy?
- Yeahhhhh. It’s sort of wimpy. It’s light, it’s creamy. But I’m not sated. It feels like snack yogurt. But it’s good.
- Try again? Sure, why not.
The Epic Seed, Greek Yogurt with Chia Seeds in Peach
- I am the most apprehensive about this one, but…I really rather like it. WHO KNEW! I’d never had chia seeds before.
- The texture of these fruity seedy things reminds me of fish roe. Snappy with a bit of a bite, but the flavor is the opposite of fishy. Light and fruity. Great textural and flavor complement to the Greek yogurt.
- Try again? Chyea. This one has been a revelation.