my fake food blog

WELL. Here we are. The end of 2016. The beginning of 2017.

In a lot of ways, 2016 was a mixed bag. It was like a bag of trail mix where you thought you were going to get a lot of M&Ms, but in actuality, you just kept getting raisins.

Nobody wants fuckin’ raisins in their trail mix.

So, as we look forward to 2017 (blissfully ignoring the fact that we are 4 days into the year), I’d like to share some of my New Year’s Resolutions & Goals.

Many of them are food related. Shock of all shocks.

• See Dear Evan Hansen
  • Yeah,  I surprised you there. Didn’t start with a food thing at all. You don’t know my life.
  • If 2016 was the year of Hamilton, 2017 is going to be the year of Dear Evan Hansen. Mark my words. Watch this video and then watch it 25 more times and you’ll be where I am: breathless with excitement over this piece of art that I’ve only known for 4 minutes and 57 seconds. (Times 20).
  • Note to self: Go on a Friday night.
• Eat at Le Bernardin
  • For Christmas, my dad bought me Eric Ripert’s memoir, 32 Yolks: From My Mother’s Table to Working the Line. I’m only halfway through it, but it’s been a really wonderful read thus far. His childhood was so happy-sad and his relationship with food has been undeniably transformative. Which is why I’ve gots ta go ta Le Bernardin to eat his food. If you had the opportunity to hear Beethoven play, wouldn’t you? Mmmmmmhmmmm.
  • Note to self: Go on a Saturday night. Find someone dashing and funny to share meal. Jon Hamm, probably.
• Eat at Russ & Daughters
  • Russ & Daughters is a New York landmark that has been around since 1914. In fact, they are celebrating 103 years today. (Happy Anniversarary, Russ & Daughters!) If you’re not familiar, the original location is a shop with the best bagels, smoked fishes, and caviars in all the land. Then, in 2014, they opened their sit down cafe. And then, they opened a restaurant/take away counter in The Jewish Museum. Hell, they even ship their fishes around the country. I will not let 103 more years pass until I eat their food.
  • Note to self: Go on a Sunday morning. Take Jon Hamm again.
• Go to Hawaii
  • Ok, listen. This one is my biggest reach. But, I’ve been talking about going to Hawaii for at least 3 years. It has been stuck in my craw. I need to see where Magnum, P.I. wore his short shorts. I want to get a grass skirt and learn to hula. I want to pretend that I can surf. And I desperately need to eat some shave ice and taro root and literally all the poke.

  • 

    Come on.

• Bake More Bread
  • I made focaccia for the first time for Christmas dinner and it honestly wasn’t great. It had good flavor, but it was dense and it was dry. But I knew where my problems were thanks to my repeated viewings of The Great British Bake Off and I am really excited to try again to see if I can improve. This is my year to play with dough. I knead to. #puns
• Be More Peaceful
  • Couldn’t we all use a bit more peace and calm in 2017? Cleansing breaths, people.
• And last, but not least: Be Open to New Experiences
  • Let’s try some new things in 2017. Let’s get weird.

So, in summation: theatre, eat, eat, travel, eat, peace, weird, Jon Hamm.

I don’t know about you, but 2017 sounds like it’s shaping up to be a pretty good year.