my fake food blog

I will not apologize for certain things. For instance:

• Being tall. I cannot help it-slash-I like it. (I didn’t always.)
• Being sassy. I fully expect that I am the Dorothy Zbornak of most groups. Because I am sassy. And aforementionadly tall.
• Loving the Muppets.

THAT’S RIGHT.

I love the Muppets. The Muppet Show is my jam.

And although I like to think I’m Rowlf (cool, calm, ready with a quip), I’ve been told more than once that I’m Animal (the crazed “primitive man and crazed drummer from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Band” according to Wikipedia.) Why fight the truth. Hey, at least nobody has figured out that I’m actually Gonzo.

How I See Myself

How Others See Me

Sidenote? Why don’t I identify with any lady Muppets? Well, let’s be honest. The only real lady Muppet is Miss Piggy. And I’ll never be fancy enough to be Miss Piggy. I do not own nearly enough luggage.

The thing about it is. The Muppets are wonderful. I saw the newest Muppet movie with my parents and Gramma. I asked my Gramma, who is 91 and a bit hard of hearing, if she liked the movie. And she said “I really liked those Moffats. They’re really colorful.” They are, Gramma. They are.

But she’s right. They Moffats Muppets ARE colorful. And bright. And funny. And silly. And funny. And weird. How do you not love them?

PLEASE NOTE: I have two best friends who do not love them. Emily and Marla do not love the Muppets. And while I understand their fake reasoning (“I didn’t grow up with them!”) versus their real reasoning (“they FREAK ME OUT”), I can appreciate that some of my friends are different than me. ….I guess.

But here’s the thing.

Sometimes the Muppets can inspire you in the kitchen. And I’m not just talking about The Swedish Chef. (Bork bork bork.) No no, I’m talking about something else. Something that’s a bit more infectious. A bit more Caribbean.

In college, we would walk around singing this. “You put the lime in the coconut.” God, theatre majors are weird. How we get jobs is beyond me.

ANYWAY.

As promised, I made the Coconut Tres Leches Cake that I blogged about a few weeks back. And although I hadn’t tried it then, it was, in fact, delicious. The only thing I’d warn you about is that this cake doesn’t travel well. The leches are spilly. And they can and will spill all over your car, seeping into every crevice of your passenger seat. So, I’d say: make this one at home and leave it there.

But I did not stop there. Because when you put the lime in the coconut, you must drink it all up. (Now, let me get this straight…)

I also made Coconut-Lime Pork Tacos with Black Beans and Avocado. This is a simple, easy recipe for a weeknight dinner or a weekend lunch. Lots of flavor and little fuss. Nothing crazy. No surprises.

But if you prefer something with some surprises, maybe you should try this.

And that’s why this is a fake food blog. Bork bork bork.

—

Coconut-Lime Pork Tacos with Avocado from Food 52

• 1 pound ground pork
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
• 1 ½ teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 ½ teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• 1 teaspoon Spanish smoked paprika
• Cayenne pepper, to taste
• 2/3 cups coconut milk, stirred (full-fat recommended)
• 3 tablespoons pineapple juice
• 1-2 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice, from 1 lime | I used 2. 
• 2 cups or one 15 ounce can cooked black beans, drained and rinsed | I used canned cause it just easier. 
• Corn or flour tortillas, for serving
• 1 large avocado, diced
• Other recommended toppings: corn salsa, chopped cilantro, sour cream, shredded cheddar or Monterey jack cheese

In a large skillet, heat one tablespoon of olive oil over medium heat. Add onion, garlic, and a large pinch of salt and pepper; cook, stirring occasionally, until they’ve softened, about 3 to 5 minutes. Push the onion and garlic to one side of the pan, and add the cumin, paprika, oregano, chile, and cayenne. Let sizzle in the pan until they’re toasted and fragrant, about 1 minute, then stir well until the onions and garlic are evenly coated with the spices.

Add the ground pork to the pan. Cook over medium-high heat, breaking up any large chunks of pork and stirring occasionally, until the pork is just cooked through. Season with salt to taste. Remove any excess fat from the pan.

Add the coconut milk; simmer for about 5 minutes until thickened, then stir in the black beans, pineapple juice and 1 tablespoon lime juice and cook for an additional minute or two. Taste and add more lime juice if needed. Adjust the seasoning to taste. You can serve right away, or cover the pan and let the pork gently simmer over low heat.

Using a slotted spoon, divide the ground pork equally among lightly warmed flour tortillas. Serve with lots of avocado and other toppings of your choice.