my fake food blog

My friend Evan used to get mad at me when I said I hadn’t seen fill-in-the-title movie. But then I think he realized he’d be mad at me, like, all the time because I’ve seen two movies: Dumb and Dumber and West Side Story. So, he gave up on the anger. Too emotionally draining, really. 

When he realized I hadn’t seen Three Amigos and he realized he didn’t own it, he bought himself the blu-ray just in time for Cinco de Mayo and invited me over to hang out with him and his girlfriend, Lauren. She made us some margaritas in a VERY fancy and VERY effective container.

Ok, it wasn’t fancy, but the Gladware was extremely effective for margarita making.

The movie was as hilarious as I expected. Ridiculously quotable. So, I apologize in advance, everyone who I talk to ever. I will be quoting it. Lauren had only seen parts of it and really enjoyed. Evan was obviously a fan. But somebody did not care for the film.

Rubes couldn’t be bothered about the movie.

As for the dinner portion, Evan and Lauren have been eating rull healthy lately, so I decided to make some zesty taco salads. My god, were they zesty. The zestiest. I’ve literally never eaten anything so GD zesty in my entire life.

Btw, how weird is the word zesty?

Alright, so how would I describe this salad? Fresh. Filling. Bright. Oh, and zesty as hellll.

I did it with shrimp instead of the recommended beef. But you could do it with any meat you want. Or no meat at all. Because this salad is flexible.

Flexible. And, of course, zesty.

Zestastic.

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Zesty Taco Salad from Popsugar

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• ½ jalapeño, seeded and thinly sliced
• 1 clove of garlic, minced
• ½ pound of ground beef | Or scrimps
• ¾ teaspoon plus ½ teaspoon cumin
• ½ teaspoon chili powder
• ¾ teaspoon plus ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon plus ¼ teaspoon black pepper
• 1 head of red leaf lettuce
• ½ cup canned black beans, rinsed
• ¾ cup cotija cheese, crumbled
• 3 radishes, thinly sliced
• 2 green onions, thinly sliced
• 1 cup tortilla chips, crumbled
• 1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
• 5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 large lime, juiced
• 3 tablespoons minced cilantro

Heat the olive oil in a large sauté pan. Add the jalapeños and garlic and cook for about a minute.

Add the shrimp, ¾ teaspoon cumin, chili powder, ¾ teaspoon salt, and ½ teaspoon pepper. Cook the scrimps until opaque. (Or if using ground beef, stir to break up the ground beef and cook through, about 10 minutes. Set aside.)

Wash and dry the lettuce. Tear apart. Distribute to two large bowls. Evenly arrange the beans, cheese, radishes, green onions, tomatoes, and tortilla chips. Split the shrimp between the two bowls.

In another small bowl, combine ½ teaspoon cumin, ½ teaspoon salt, ¼ teaspoon black pepper, and minced cilantro. Add the lime juice and olive oil. Whisk together. Pour dressing evenly over salads and toss together.

This recipe makes two large salads. It could easily serve four people if it’s served as side salads rather than main salads.