my fake food blog

It’s that time of year again. Time to invite your loved ones over for a very special meal: Thanksgiving.

I wish my guests were as hairy as that bunny.

Wait, that’d be weird.

Nope, that would be awesome.  

Anywho, I’m starting to put together my Thanksgiving menu. (I’m hosting this year. AHHH!!!) Menu looks like this right now:

• Starter:
  • Fennel and Carrot Soup from Bon Appetit
    • we started including soup after a Thanksgiving years ago at my dad’s coworkers house. The woman had totally mistimed the meal, bless her heart. So, everyone sat at the table (awkwardly) and waited (awkwardly). Her child leaned over to me at one point during this awkward waiting and said, “Why aren’t you eating?” To which I replied, “Because there’s nothing to eat!” BUT this woman did serve a pre-meal soup and it was a lovely opener to the dinner.
• Main:
  • Turkey of some kind, roasted…but in like a really cool/delicious way
    • Crispy skin of the UTMOST IMPORTANCE
  • Grandy’s Stuffing from Food 52
    • I don’t know who Grandy is, but this recipe looks baller. Homemade sage sausage with cheap-ass white bread? Do want.
  • Smothered Country Green Beans from Garden and Gun
    • Listen. I’ve got to stop fucking around with a good thing. Green bean casserole from a can? Delicous, but we can beat it. Fancy version of green bean casserole from Bon Appetit? Let’s just say Dave didn’t like it. Al dente green beans are NOT his thing. But this version gives you greenbeanitude, pork fat and none of the texture. What’s not to love?
  • Other sides:
    • Mashed Potatoes
      • Essential
    • Cranberry Something?
    • Another vegetable?
    • Bread of some sort?
• Dessert: Salted Caramel Apple Pie from Four and Twenty Blackbirds (via Cooking Channel)
  • I think my parents will love this or hate this. I’m going to go with love….but I’m probably wrong here. They don’t like things that are too weird… but….salted caramel is perfection.

I think you’ll all agree that my menu is basically done.

Hey, at least I have a turkey ordered.

And, naturally, I’ve ordered tiny hats like the hamsters in the video have. Priorities, y’all.

What’s on your menu? What delicious thing am I totally overlooking or completely forgetting or otherwise don’t know about?