Brand New Man: The Hamburglar

Breaking news from McDonald’s on Mashable yesterday: the Hamburglar is back and he’s pretty hot.

Robble Robble indeed. Via Mashable

Robble Robble indeed. Via Mashable

Yes, the Hamburglar is a human man, he’s married, he’s got a human kid, he owns a house and he’s smokin’.

Is this RULL weird to anyone else?

The Hamburglar should look like Rocky Dennis.

Correct

Correct  Via Mcdonalds.Wikia.com

He should not look like Joe Manganiello.

Incorrect. via TheHollywoodBillboard

Incorrect.
via TheHollywoodBillboard

I should not want to sleep with the Hamburglar. Cause I never wanted to before. (Sorry, Dad.)

McDonald’s VP of Marketing, Joel Yashinsky, said something curious about The Hamburglar’s new look. “He’s had some time to grow up a bit and has been busy raising a family in the suburbs and his look has evolved over time.”

Watch this spot, please.

Ok, fine. I will suspend all of my disbelief about his beautiful looks.

But…. he’s had some time to grow up. And he’s been raising a family in the ‘burbs.

Ok, cool. I believe that people can change. Maybe he got arrested after a string of burger robberies. Maybe he’s out on parole. Maybe he got rehabbed in prison. Maybe he got his degree in jail. Worked in the kitchens. Found religion. I don’t know.

Yet, the SECOND he hears that McDonald’s has created the new Sirloin Third Pound burger (on an ad playing on a radio WITH A CASSETTE PLAYER), he drops his unbelievably clean grill spatula.

Get the mask out of storage. He’s got one more job to pull. 

McDonald’s is really perpetuating some ugly truths about the recidivism rate in this country.

(Hat tip, T. Stowe Nelson, MSNBC, and Lockup.)

There’s another spot, too. Equally unfathomable.

I would call this dude a sociopath.

Going back to the quote from the Marketing VP. The Hamburglar has grown up. He’s matured. Um, clearly not. Clearly he hasn’t moved on AT ALL. His name is Hamilton B. Urglar (if Wikipedia is to be believed.) Why HOW would he be able to do anything but burgle hamburgers? He couldn’t become an account executive or a graphic designer or own a skateboard shop. It’s literally in his chemistry to steal hamburgers.

To me, this is another attempt at nostalgia done weirdly by a big brand. It’s too soon to tell if it’s done wrong, but I can’t say with any confidence that it’s going well. It’s certainly not meeting the CEO Steve Easterbrook’s challenge to build “brand excitement.”

I do not want to eat a sirloin triple burger.

That Hamburglar sure looks tasty, though.

Probably not the kind of excitement they were going for.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

One thought on “Brand New Man: The Hamburglar

  1. полной says:

    whoah this blog is excellent i love reading your articles.
    Keep up the good work! You already know, lots of persons are
    searching round for this information, you could help them
    greatly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

curiouser & curiouser

a collection of the delicious & delightful

Food and Brew Review

Triad restaurants and farms and craft beer! Oh my!

Motherhood - WHAT?!

Making it through motherhoodhood with the grace of a camel on ice skates

costablancamama

A Spanish Adventure - raising kids and giving birth in Spain

PornBurger

Burger Perverts Welcome

NC | NY

bringing a little bit of the south to the city

Erin Lesica

Real Food. Fake Blog.

The Crafty Cook Nook

Preserving Food, Stories, and Place

Justin Timberlake Does Things

Real Food. Fake Blog.

Feed Me Phoebe

{ health, hedonism & all the delicious things in between }

pancussion

Real Food. Fake Blog.

The Frenemy.

Real Food. Fake Blog.

THE KIDS ARE RELATIVELY OKAY

Real Food. Fake Blog.

Curious And Curiouser

I Find the World Curious

POPSUGAR Food

Real Food. Fake Blog.

This American Wife

Real Food. Fake Blog.

Eat, Live, Run

Real Food. Fake Blog.

So Delushious !

personal random ramblings from a girl who loves bacon and can't be fat.

Seasoned to Taste

I'm just a girl with an appetite.

%d bloggers like this: