The One Where I’m In Charge of Thanksgiving Dinner

I got two emails from my mother yesterday.

One had the most brilliant typo referring to Snoopy and “all the Penis gang.” I giggled about that one for just hours.

The other one is as follows. The typos have been included for color and if my mom knew I had a blog and knew how to search for it, she’d be REAL mad that I put her email here. 

Subject: You and Grandma cook Thanksgiving

My sweet Babu, [Honestly? No idea why she calls me this. My dad doesn’t get it either.]

I have a hectic week trying to prepare for the Indiana trip: hair, nails. Have church commitment and take two classes on the 19 th. I need your help a d Mom’s. I will pick up groceries for you but you and gma will have lots of time to bond. Thx sweet ma am

Um…did my mother call me ma’am at the end of her email? Or did she misspell mama? She normally signs her emails off mami (we’re Puerto Ricans), so I honestly don’t even know.

Anyways. I think we’re overlooking the major point of this: You and Grandma cook Thanksgiving.

Charles what now?

I’ve been in charge of the turkey for the last two years, which has gone really well. And I’ve done a couple sides too. But… I haven’t done the whole thing. And certainly not with a 90 year old sous chef. (Calm down, I love her more than anything and I’m so excited to hang/cook with her but…she has to sit down a lot.)

I guess I’m going to need to menu plan. Like, now. Cause…it’s three and a half weeks away. I picked up a Southern Living, Martha Stewart Living, Cooking Light and Real Simple today. Just need a Bon Appetit and a Food Network Magazine and I’ll have COMPLETELY overdone it.

This is going to be interesting. There are only 4 of us. And dad doesn’t can’t eat shellfish. And doesn’t like onions.

COME ON, DAVE. 

Y’all have any family favorites? Or surprise hits that you’re willing to share? 

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8 thoughts on “The One Where I’m In Charge of Thanksgiving Dinner

  1. hayet.rida@gmail.com says:

    Stuffing: Scallions, Sausage, bacon, potatoes, garlic and bread chunks (dried overnight or you can do without them). Toss em all together with your fave spices and stuff that baby. Or you can literally eat it as a side without even stuffing.

  2. Meg says:

    First, I appreciate that this is titled like a Friends episode. (I hope your kitchen endeavors go better than Rachel’s in The One Where Ross Got High.)

    Second, good luck and we expect a follow up post. I think I can speak for all your readers when I say we’ll be disappointed if its a smashing success. (boring.)

    Third, want a pecan pie recipe? I have one that one first place in the Florala, AL 4-H contest. True story. It’s good.

    • I’m so glad you knew I was going for a Friends thing. Hopefully Brad Pitt drops by my house and we reminisce about our We Hate Rachel Green club.

      As one of my 3 loyal readers of this blog, I think you know better than most that there will be a tiny bit of success and likely, a lot of mistakes. Ha!

      Send away, my friend! A 4H winner? That’s some fancy shit right there.

  3. Meg says:

    And by “one” I mean “won.”

    I suck.

  4. Rach says:

    There’s a delicious squatternutbosh bread pudding from Real Simple two years ago. Kinda works as a stuffing, but…I like to have both. Seriously, fail-safe and fab. Although it may have onions…? Seriously, Dave.

    • If I cut them big, he can pick them out. I mean, I LOVE him. But, sometimes… I just don’t know about him… Do you still have this recipe?!

      “Does anybody have anything they’re thankful for BESIDES thongs?”

  5. Rach says:

    http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/butternut-squash-bread-pudding-00000000044525/index.html

    Uh-oh. TWO WHOLE ONIONS. Dave may just have to stick to potatoes.

    Also, “Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined.”

    Which made me think of, “Tartlet. Tartlet. Tartlet.”

    It could get weird from here…

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